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The title of this page will make a lot more sense if you read
some background. Don't worry, it's
short... and once you've read it, you'll also understand why I started
using the phrase 'lions to slay.' Yes, that pre-calculus grade is one of
my biggest and proudest lions.
Here are some more, in chronological order from the earliest ones
in my life, when I simply thought of them as fears I had to conquer or
goals to which I aspired, to the most recent ones, including a few I'm
currently working towards.
Yes, I'm still working on both this page and my life. ;-)
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Spain |
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This one wasn't so much something I
specifically did all by myself, as something I'm both proud
of having been a part of, and that influenced my life a great
deal.
I lived in Spain for several years. It was beautiful and
magical and pragmatic and strange and completely normal, like
most experiences are for children. It also taught me both to
enjoy helping people (knowing the language can be a big
help!) and to see the world more objectively... including my own native culture.
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My first 'jumping' blue ribbon and trophy |
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On the twelfth of January, 1974, I placed first in the Florida
Lake Country Horse Show's "Maiden Equitation" hunter-jumper
class, riding "Friday's Luck," my first pony. For more about him,
read the next 'lion.'
This was my very first blue ribbon in a jumping class,
and thus was also a tremendous thrill for me! Interestingly
enough this was also the prettiest silver tray I received, out
of all my wins. I've still got it, of course, even though the
ribbon turned purple with age long ago. ;-)
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Friday's Luck, & Revka of Anatefka |
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Lucky and Revka (REEV - khah) were two of my
horses. Both were problem or 'trouble' horses when I got
them... and by the time they were sold or taken by someone else
both were well-behaved and wonderful rides. Both made great
teams with me, at different times in my life... I was very proud
of each of them. Odd though it may sound, I still miss them --
they both had profound influence upon my life, and taught me a
great deal about living well.
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Princess & squire in the SCA |
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In the SCA, I can style myself as Vicountess Ursula Katze of
Trimaris, and squire to Sir Bronislaus of Vilnius (hope I spelled
that right ;). While it is the
squire's belt I am most proud of, since that's the one I
earned by skill in force of arms, I'm also pleased that I could
serve as the second princess of the new Principality of Trimaris.
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My Sweetie! |
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Okay, so I didn't do anything for this one... it's
more his lion than mine. He basically hung around quietly
and was a dear friend until I finally got clueful! That's
him hugging me, in the
snapshot. He's pretty marvelous too -- we're coming up on our
twelfth (update: fourteenth now! ;) anniversary of togetherness,
as I said earlier! ;-)
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The first pre-calculus grade |
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This one you've already read about, if you've read the
background on this page. Yes, I was both stunned and thrilled --
it was a great confidence builder! ;-)
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Shooting |
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I'm very pleased with this lion. Initially I was nervous
around guns, didn't know anything about how to properly handle
them, was intimidated by the recoil, and thought they were just
too loud! When a good friend of mine finally talked me
into going shooting with him at the shooting range, my aim was
simply atrocious, due to how badly I flinched
at the report and recoil when firing.
But I realized I was doing this -- flinching -- because I
was afraid. I decided I certainly wasn't going to
let a silly tool scare me, nor was I going to let fear run my
life... so I forced myself to continue going shooting, despite
my initial dislike of it.
I realized I'd overcome my fears the day I went shooting
and not only enjoyed myself... but also, out of 31 shots with a
Nagant, put 27 of them in
the two central rings of the target -- with 22 of those 27 in
the center-most ring! Yes, I'm quite pleased by that -- not too
shabby for someone that used to have trouble with even hitting
the darned target! ;-)
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My last calculus class |
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It's coming up soon, thank goodness... I'm in my second to
last one. When I finish, I'm going to buy myself another lion
charm! ;-)
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My degrees |
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This is another 'coming up' lion that I'm working towards. I'm
aiming for a sociology minor and both an anthropology and computer
science major. Currently I've got all the credits I need for
the anthro major, and lack only 2 more classes at UC Santa Cruz
to have the first set of degrees... and I'm working on all the
prerequisites I can get from DeAnza Community College for the
CS degree, which I'll be getting from San Jose State. When I
get them all done... there'll be great
rejoicing! -and I'll have another lion charm or two. ;-)
Update: Graduation for the Santa Cruz degrees was June 9th,
2001 -- huzzah! Much glee! I made it, with honors in the
major! ;-)
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I've been asked on occasion how I can be so brave, or how I can
be so calm. The real answer is that I'm really not that brave,
or that calm. It's a mask, and a good one... because inside sometimes
I really am frightened and stressed and upset and scared. But I have a
few things I do to help myself hold it together.
In regards to things that scare me, I strongly believe that fears are
there to be overcome -- that they who refuse to face
and vanquish their fears have instead been overwhelmed by their
fears. Action conquers fear... when I realize I am
afraid of something I force myself to do that thing, to understand
it and master it and eventually... to no longer be afraid of it.
When it comes to staying calm, I have a simple mantra I repeat to
myself. I used to be a surgery technician for a very busy, multiple-doctor
animal hospital. It was vital that things go precisely right
-- because if they didn't, some poor animal could DIE.
Compared to that, there's not much else that stressful out there... and
that's where my mantra comes from. When I'm getting anxious about an exam,
or about something in my life, I mentally repeat to myself, 'if I don't
do wonderfully with this, is anyone going to die?!' So
far the answer's been 'no'... and if that's the case, why worry? ;-)
As far as coping with stress, I make sure I do things that
I enjoy, that make me happy, in my free time. I have
a simple mental barometer for that also. Things I do in my free time
should be things I think are fun... if it's not fun, why am I doing
it? That's how I keep control of my life. That, coupled with blatant
honesty to the folks I care about, makes it easy to be calm, or brave,
or whatever. In a society as easy as this one, life's too short to waste
it living in fear.
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